High School Not Always Sweethearts

I met the love of my life when I was 14. I can still recall every single detail of the first time I saw him and our very first kiss. I knew the moment we met he was going to be my husband. I claimed it. I knew he would be my husband, the father of my children, and my forever. If you knew us as teenagers, we all knew I was in love with him and nothing in the world could convince me otherwise. I always wanted a fairy tale, until this very day I live my life like a fairy tale. I have high expectations and know what I want. What I never realized was how much work and time my fairy tale would take. 

We were so young when we fell in love. Young and dumb - literally. We made mistakes. We didn't know how to love. During high school we had really bad moments, honestly, I don't consider us "serious" until half way through my senior year. We hurt each other. We had to find our own way and figure out how to love each other(still working on that). Here is what no one will tell you about "highschool sweethearts", you actually have to grow with that person, not always at the same pace and not always in the same direction. Meaning, heartaches are definitely going to happen. I had to grow with my husband and unfortunately that meant I had to work past young and dumb mistakes. I experienced my first heartbreak with him. I remember losing all trust and hope when we were kids. However, I also remember rebuilding this trust and hope and actually loving him even more after. I remember all the mistakes but without pain or resentment. To me it's now beautiful. We grew and watched each other change. He's so different and yet so alike to when we met. I trust him more than anyone else in my life. Which is crazy to say because at some point in our teenage years I trusted him the least. We worked past everything so gracefully. He matured and watching him grow has been amazing.

Growing didn't stop after high school. Growth happened when he took me into and welcomed me in his home. Growth happened with our first baby and our miscarriage. Growth continued with our first daughter. Growing has yet to stop. It's been pure growth, not always pretty but for the better. It's not sweet. It's not easy. It's hard. You have to continue to go through patches, and stages. Just when you think you're past one moment a new one arises.  You have to take some ugly and a lot of good. It's not always fun and peaceful. 

Marriage to us is a choice. You choose to love this person, over and over, time after time, change after change. Your person will always change, as you will change. You have to welcome this person as they grow and learn to accept them. Choose them. Understand that this person won't be who they once were 10 years ago. I do. 

I understand that my husband is not the same person I initially fell in love with. He is a man. He is a great father. He's a loyal teammate. He's no longer making heartbreaking mistakes. His mistakes consist of losing his cool sometimes or forgetting to do something I asked him to do. He's changed. I continue to embrace him and help him through life. He is still choosing me as well. He's choosing me despite my mood swings, my high expectations, my need to control the world habits, and my constant memory loss. He chooses me. He chooses to be loyal. He chooses to be my husband and respect our vows - always and forever. That's my husband. I'm his wife. 

10 years in and we are different people with different love but that choice of picking each other always remains. We have struggled, we have hurt, we have learned. It's not always sweet but it's always worth it. Choose to love. 

xoxo Wife Bae

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