Bonus


1. Cheating: We haven't had this issue since kids (2014 lol), honestly the person doing it has to decide not to. That's it. Nothing you can do to force the other person to stop. It's a personal choice they make. I will say, if you allow it to continue it will continue. My husband and I both agree - if you forgive it and continue to allow it - it will. 

2. Moving in together: That was a huge slap in the face for us. We had to respect each other and learn each other's living habits. This is something we still work on 6 years into living together, it's really hard since I'm now super OCD and Rik is more relaxed. I decide to do most of the cleaning, since I need it cleaned my way anyways but I still expect him to pitch in and maintain the clean areas. Again, at this very moment - still working on it. 

3. Parenting and marriage: This is also a kick in the gut. Until you're a parent you will never imagine how hard it is to be sleep deprived and have to deal with your partner. You're so tired and everything the other person does can trigger you. Currently working on this now after our second child again. We are trying to realize our frustrations are with day to day things vs each other. I some times talk crazy to him like with a tone, and I have to apologize for the way I came off. I'm not mad at him, just mad I spent 1 hour trying to put the baby down just for her to wake up 2 seconds into her nap. Remember to always focus on the actual frustration vs taking it out on your spouse. 

4. Being kind: This goes with issue #3, it's so easy to push each other's buttons once you know what they are. We both equally have said disrespectful out of line comments to each other. We said mean things because we felt like we could and we would have to push through it since we live together. Just because we will move past it doesn't make it right. We have now learned to be kind to each other, always. Don't allow it at all. We have kids now that look up at us and mimic our words and behavior. As we are getting older we are more cautious of what we say and how we make each other feel. I make it a point to uplift him as much as possible so that he feels his best self. I used to talk down to him when I would get upset but that only made the issue worse. Don't be me lol. Uplift and speak more positive than negative to them. 

5. Compromising: We struggled with doing things we didn't like to do but the other person did. I hateeeeeeeee the game.. hateeee it lol but that is his passion so now I understand that he deserves some time to zone the world out and just focus on not getting killed in the game. Again, all this we are still working. I do still nag time to time if he spends hours on the game but that's life lol. He now realizes that doing "extra" things as he would say are a priority to me. It's a huge thing for me to give the girls "extra" experiences, because I remember all mine. He will join and be a part of our family events and trips. 

Well folks - here is to 10 MF great ass years that have brought tons of laughter, tears, and pure ass comedy. I love this man, all of him. His fly ass. His annoying ass. Our funny ass kids. That's my boo. He'll always be my boo thang. I'll always stalk him and continue to be thirsty to touch his hand or sneak a kiss. If you don't annoy them with love - wtf are you doing. 

Xoxo Wife Bae 

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