Updated: Feb 15, 2020
Raising an empowered feminist family! Couldn't have picked a more perfect day for this blog. Valentine's Day. Let me tell you a little about my day. I had thee most peaceful v-day ever. A simple kid free lunch with babe and a Target run to buy Bells her V-day gifts, we found thee most cutest books. Two of them being, Baby Feminist and Sulwe. It is imperative for me to pass along my passion for feminism. I want the girls to love themselves and Rik to love all women. Rik has never been a huge feminist type of guy. He really doesn't care for Lizzo nearly as much as Bella and I are OBSESSED. We live for Lizzo. However - today as I'm cleaning and arranging 7 dozen roses in my kitchen I hear her - I hear my boo Lizzo. I hear (so cute Bella just closed the door so I could write in peace - melts) - anyways - I hear my husband - a non-Lizzo fan singing along with Bella - Truth Hurts. Now - that was my initial love at first song of Lizzo's. I was so happy at that very moment. Truth Hurts was then followed up with - Good as Hell. That is me and Bella's SHIT! I allow her to say to say the word "Hell" - I told her, that Hell could be a bad word, and of course not to say it in school or to her Grandma (Ahma) that isn't a fan of curse words. I advised her that in this song it is not a bad word used in a bad way, it's just a word used to articulate how good Lizzo feels. Moving on... Me and Bells sing Good as Hell as loud as we can and with all our feminist hearts. For purposes of this blog I did a mini interview on Bella. I asked her:
What do you like about Lizzo? "She's pretty, she's beautiful, she has beautiful hair, I like her songs. and that I can say "Good as Hell".
How does she make you feel? "Happy and excited."
I think it is important for Lizzo's loving, accepting, confident, fierceness, and empowering lyrics to be sang loudly and engraved in my babies mind. I want her to know that she should always love herself first. To be fierce at anything she does and life gives her. To always be empowered and empower others.To not let a man break her and define her. I want the world for her. But that's not enough for me. I want my husband, a man - to be a feminist. I want him to love all women not only his momma, his wife, and his daughters. I want him to understand a woman's pains and joys. I want him to without even me saying anything - get it. He hasn't got it just yet. Here is the thing, I always wanted a boy, a girl and a boy - 2 kids. When I found out I was having another girl, I was a bit disappointed. However, I soon decided I would have 1 more kid - making it 3 kids. Unfortunately, due to medical conditions I can no longer have kids (I will most definitely discuss in a later blog). I dreamed of raising a boy - thee most feminist boy in the planet. I wanted to raise a boy that would be so kind, that would appreciate a female completely - mentally and physically. I wanted to raise a nearly close to perfect husband for his soulmate. I want all my kids to find love - as again I believe our purpose in life is to love and be loved. I cannot have that. I cannot have a son. Again - I will discuss in a later blog this pain that I still carry. After knowing I can't have anymore kids - taking a way my chance of being a boy mom. I have decided to redirect this energy to Rik. I cannot raise him - but I sure can enlighten him and spread some Lizzo inspiration on to him. I think we should all do this. If you have a girl - teach her self love just as much as you teach potty training, reading, and basics. Why isn't self love considered the most important basic? I have never heard "I'm currently teaching my kid to love her/him - self" as much as I've heard "I'm teaching my kid to potty train". Empower your daughter(s) to be strong and confident. If you have a boy - teach them also self love but also teach them to love females. As they grow, show them to respect, understand, and empower girls. So that when they get older, they can have a happy life and be the man we all dream of having. Someone who cares, listens, cherishes, loves, but most importantly Respects Us! It is our jobs - as moms to raise feminist, this includes girls and boys. Your girls to be bad ass queens and your boys to be strong kind men. Currently - Rik isn't 100% a feminist, it's a work in progress. However, I can definitely see a very feminist future for him. I am currently explaining daily why things are important to me as a woman, why things are important to our little girls, and why all women need to be heard and respected. Just like I would if I had a son. I encourage you to make a change - to enlighten your husband - your son - your brother - your dad on feminism. Expand their thoughts and show them a whole new world that deserves to be heard.
"That's the momma in me."
Xoxo Mom Bae